MSN CLOSING DOWN?! (*laughing*)

EDIT (5th April ’09): Wow, I don’t know HOW people are still finding this post, but it’s come to my attention that these emails are STILL circulating! Lol whut? I’m still laughing. People are stupid. XD

Yes, we’ve all got the emails from a mass of people under the impression that MSN is closing down. I’m here to complain about them and point out the many reasons why I doubt (very much) that it’s ever going to happen.

What’s interesting (for a start!) is that they all tend to follow the same general layout: introduction of the ‘MSN directors’, saying straight out that MSN is closing down, AND charging money, then the reason (there’s HOW MANY NAMES LEFT OMG?!) followed by how you can fix it. Don’t worry, you just have to send the message to a certain amount of people on your contact list, fear not!

Anyway–fail. How many of these emails are actually out there? I got another one just today (and if you’ve already seen this one, or any of the others following, forgive me) and again I couldn’t help but laugh. Here, read:

This is Tara and John, the directors of MSN. We would like to sincerely apologize for the interruption, but msn is closing down. We know many of these messages have been sent out lately, and that they wouldn’t be true. However, this one is in fact true, and it will occur soon.
MSN will begin to charge you money soon.

This is due to the fact that too many inconsiderate people are taking up all the names (ie. making up lots of different accounts for just one person). Therefore, we only have 578 names left. If you would like to close your account, DO NOT SEND THIS MESSAGE ON. We would not reccommend this, because if in the future you’d like to use MSN, and you don’t send this message on, you will be CHARGED to use MSN monthly. If you would like to keep your account, then SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. As we said this before, this is no joke, and we will be shutting down the servers. Please send it on. We do not want to be receiving phone calls stating that your MSN will not open, or that you are being charged for using it – because this will be your fauly for not sending it on. The estimated cost for MSN monthly will be about ten dollars CAN.

SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. In case you believed this is yet another of those ‘prank’ MSN shut down emails, go to: Address removed. Once you’ve sent this message to at least 18 contacts, your msn icon will become blue.

Regards,
Tara and John
(Directors and Operators of MSN.com, Hotmail, Windows Live Hotmail,etc)

*cough* Um… yeah. Actually, this was one of the better ones I’ve seen. Let me point out the ISSUES, though, in a comprehensive list.

1. The grammar and spelling FAILS. See “this will be your fauly for not” and “We know many of these messages have been sent out lately, and that they wouldn’t be true.”
2. Inconsistencies. See “MSN” and “msn” (repeatedly!).
3. The Canadian money reference. Let’s face it–MSN was and remains American (“MSN [The Microsoft Network] is a collection of Internet services provided by Microsoft.” – Wikipedia), so WHY are the directors talking about Canadian dollars? I’m fairly sure they’d use US dollars and leave us to change it to our own currency.

Now, lets focus on another email, yes? This time I’ve bolded issue areas:

Dear Hotmail User,
Because of the sudden rush of people signing up to Hotmail,it has come to our attention that we are vastly running out of resources. So, within a month’s time, anyone who does not receive this email with the exact subject heading, will be deleted off our server.Please forward this email so that we know you are still using this account.

WARNING WARNING

We want to find out which users are actually using their Hotmail accounts. So if you are using your account, please pass this e-mail to every Hotmail user that you can and if you do not pass this letter to anyone we will delete your account.

From Mr. Jon Henerd
Hotmail Admin. Dept.

Our hotmail system is getting to crowded!! We need you to forward this to at least 20 people. I know this seems like a large number, but we need to find out who is really using their account. If you do not send this to at least 10 Hotmail members, we will delete your account. Sorry for this inconvenience.

Sincerely, Director of Hotmail Services
Aaron Lopez
Please do this! Some of my friends have already gotten deleted and you aren’t allowed to send it back to the person who sent this email to you!!!

MOAR ISSUES!!!

1. Spelling and grammar. AGAIN! Too many exclamation marks, not enough ‘o’s, spaces or commas. Fail.
2. Inconsistencies. AGAIN! If I was someone stupid, I’d be running around tearing my head out, not knowing if I was supposed to send it to 10 or 20 people or simply as many as I could. Uh oh!
3. Another Director. Which one is the real one?! Guess the director!
4. Poor Director Aaron Lopez, his friends got deleted. Wait, what? Why didn’t he tell them it was happening? Bastard, I wouldn’t be HIS friend anymore. And…wait… Is he giving RULES for who I can and can’t send the email to? Jerk!
5. I got this email on Saturday, 8 March 2008 3:04:34 PM. I’m sure you know what the date is (even approximately) now. It’s more than a month after I got the email. Funnily enough, I still have my hotmail AND MSN running.

And there’s MORE. MOAR DIRECTORS! “it is Andy and John the directors of MSN” who have only 578 names left, and are saying MSN will cost 10 POUNDS a month to use. I got that one in December last year. Another one told me it would cost 100.00 (dollars, pounds, yen, it didn’t say…) a month and that would happen by November 2007 (and I got THAT one December ’07, too!), and there was still ONLY 578 NAMES LEFT! Another one told me “PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS or REPLAY”. Well darn, and I so wanted to replay that wonderful message… -_-

But seriously, the one piece of damning evidence? Windows Live Messenger sends me emails quite frequently. Why wouldn’t they send these emails themselves? And WHY do the forwarded emails not have the

Windows Live Messenger HEADER, people!

usual setup of a Live Messenger, including the HEADER and FOOTER?! I mean, honestly. They’re not very professional, then, are they?

If one bothered to check msn.com and search around a little bit, one might find that “Chat Service will no longer be offered on or after October 16th, 2006”. CURSE YOU! Where was my forwarded email about THAT?! I don’t think I got one, thank heavens.

If I had have been someone in control of MSN or any one of those services, I probably would have shut it down or charged people to stop idiots from using it. THAT would have stopped those emails!

</rant>